Description: Zombies, zombies, zombies! There’s a zombie in your backyard. Zombies moaning in the streets. Zombies have probably taken over the entire country. So, the only logical place to go in the midst of the zombie apocalypse is the local pub. Free ale, a relaxing atmosphere, and a cricket bat for protection. What else do you need?
Description: Protecting the earth from the rat-scum of the universe. (For more human-cat hybrids, visit http://www.captainfeline.com)
$2.75
Description: Yo, sax man, blow into your reed. Play me a tune, something that reaches deep into the gut enticing the loins. Give me some soul. Play me some deep, dirty dirge of sexual revolution. Or just give me some order of melancholy, for that sax appeal oozing from your pores is like a velvet glove for my appetite.
$2.75
Description: Welton Academy Prep School has a long proud history of academic achievement, fostered through the strict hand of discipline. So of course it is the perfect playground for a group of wilful kids to create some innocent anarchy. Guided by the words of the venerable Uncle Walt, they skip into the woods at night and see the Congo creeping through the black, cutting through the forest with a golden track.
$2.75
Description: The year was 1878. Pittsburgh residents investigated reports of “dead people” feasting on the flesh of the living. A hastily assembled posse arrived at the Romero homestead to find that six “zombies” had made breakfast of the dead bodies of the poor farmer and his wife. The zombies were disposed of with a combination of axes, shovels and pitchforks and the incident passed out of memory. Coincidentally, one hundred years later, Pittsburgh became the home of the greatest zombie films ever made.
$2.75
Description: Art. It’s overrated. Dancing, however, is the one act of self-expression that requires no talent. Yeah, that’s right, even if you get your jig on worse than Elaine Benes, it doesn’t matter. Maybe you’re as tone deaf as a llama, or as musically talented as a dugong with a tuba stuck in its rectum. It doesn’t matter. Dancing, funnily enough, like art, is subjective. So the next time someone suggests a visit to the gallery, make a case for learning to waltz instead.
Description: From Miami to Puerto Rico to the island of Bermuda lies the Devil’s Triangle. Planes, boats and people have all been sucked into this mysterious vortex in the Atlantic Ocean. Is it a gateway to another dimension? A time travel wormhole? Or is it just another piece of regular ocean? For the debate continues regarding the authenticity of the stories about the Bermuda Triangle’s many victims.
$2.75
Description: The nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing horror on a screaming world! A man dissolves – and out of the oozing mist comes the hungry eye, slave to the demon brain. Warning: If you’ve ever been hypnotized do not come alone! Crawling into a theatre near you…
$2.75
Description: She is the Ancient Egyptian goddess of motherhood, fertility and magic. Mother of Horus to her brother Osiris, resurrecting the latter after he has murdered by Set. Worshipped in Greece and Rome, she is the goddess of nature and protector of the dead.
$2.75
Description: Jack Mainwaring sure did warn ‘em. Having trawled the Bering Sea for fifty years, Jack had seen just about everything the sea had to offer. He even claimed to have seen the fabled giant squid. Sitting at the bar in the Green Mollusk Hotel, Jack warned the crew of the Mary Buchman to be wary of the giant sea creature before they set out from port – for it is out there and has been devouring maritime vessels and their crew for centuries. Of course, no one believed him, until the Mary Buchman and her crew were never seen again.
Description: Where would we be without movie clichés? Head ‘em off at the pass. Meet ‘em at the old mill. But it doesn’t have to be that way, scriptwriters. Coin some new phrases that will, in fifty years time, become clichés themselves. Perhaps, “I’ll email you with the details” or “We can find them with the GPS!”
Description: If there is a creature alive beneath the waters of Loch Ness, just what exactly could it be? Theories abound and hoaxes come and go, but the legend of Nessie lives on. Is she merely a crafty plesiosaur that somehow survived through the ages? Or she is just some kind of fish mutated by the effluent from the nearby haggis packing factory?
$2.75
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